


Coming Home

by MadhouseVagabond



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Crying, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Some Fluff, battle buddies, dealing with anger, implied Jeremwood, implied thoughts of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseVagabond/pseuds/MadhouseVagabond
Summary: It’s been seven years since Ryan betrayed the Crew. Seven years since he left Los Santos and his Crime life behind. Now he’s back and searching for redemption, but will he find it?





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Corrupt, and written to celebrate 800 followers on Tumblr!

The night air was still, the earth seeming to hold its breath as the lone figure walked down the sidewalk, hood of his jacket pulled over his head, broad shoulders hunched. The tall building ahead was his destination, a nearly crippling feeling of nervousness filling him as it loomed closer and closer. The figure paused at the door before taking a deep breath and pushing through, making his way to the elevator and with a hand that was almost trembling pressed the familiar button to the penthouse. He closed his eyes and tried his best to calm his breathing, tried to still the anxiety spiking in his chest as the elevator carried him higher and higher. The elevator dinged when they reached the floor and with a shaky breath, the man strode out into the hall, making his way down to a familiar door.

 

Reaching for the knob he paused, hand hovering over the cold metal. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove all his feelings down, deep within him like he used to do; back before that day.

 

Grasping the doorknob he pushed into the room and stood there in the dark, faint light from the windows barely illuminating the place in an eerie, almost deathlike state. He shivered as he took a step forward, eyes scanning the room. No one had been here in...how long had it been? Three, five years? Maybe more, he'd lost track long ago. Memories came flooding back to him as he walked through each room, happy laughs and playful teasing, friendly smiles and video game tournaments, smells of wonderful home cooked meals made with love, stern telling offs about eating donuts before dinner was ready...

 

He fought back tears as he looked into each of the familiar bedrooms, long since abandoned by their owners, remembering times long ago when the rooms were occupied and decorated to the liking of each person. He avoided two rooms purposefully, not wanting to relive the most painful memories, walking back into the living room and gingerly sitting on the familiar couch like he'd done a thousand times in the past.

 

He was home.

 

But it wasn't home was it? This was simply an apartment, a place of residence. No, this was far from home. He let out a shaky sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his face with his hands.

 

"A home is where you make your life, a home is where..." his voice choked and he paused for a moment, collecting himself before he continued. "A home is where people love you."

 

His deep, baritone voice sounded loud and strange in the empty apartment, almost startling him. He sighed and checked his phone, an idea sprouting in his mind as he unlocked it and typed out a message to an all too familiar number. He bit his lip as he scanned the message, erasing it and typing out a new one, only to erase that one as well. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn't sure he was ready to do it. With a sigh he gave up on the message and checked one he'd received only a few days before, scanning the words again for the millionth time.

 

Slowly he rose to his feet, and just as slowly made his way to the door, pausing and casting one last longing look back at the familiar space that was once his home. Tears threatened his eyes as he turned away, closing and locking the door for the last time. No one had lived there in years, and no one would for years to come.

 

The drive wasn't long, but to him it felt like years as he felt the anxiety build up in him again, gripping the steering wheel of his car so tightly that his knuckles turned a ghostly white. He pulled to a stop, sitting there for several minutes, not wanting to face what lay before him, but knowing he must. Trudging slowly into the apartment he made his way to the correct room and stood there, staring at the door. He wanted to knock, hell, he wanted to break down the door and rush in, but he couldn't. Anxiety and dread filled him and he felt himself start to tremble.

 

Raising his hand that felt as if it was being weighed down, he gave two soft knocks on the door, retracting his hand quickly like the door was some poisonous snake, and standing to the side, not wanting to be seen through the peephole. There was silence for several minutes before a movement behind the door, a brief pause and then the sound of a deadbolt sliding. He took a deep breath and stepped out into full view of the door, just before it opened. He was looking down, not wanting to meet the eyes of the apartment owner, but he heard the audible gasp as the door opened, shrinking in on himself and flinching slightly.

 

"You," a familiar voice said, no emotion behind the words, just a simple statement. Slowly he raised his eyes to meet those of the other, gasping at what he saw.

 

"J-Jeremy?" he stuttered.

 

"Ryan," Jeremy said, this time a hint of anger and malice behind his voice.

 

"Y-you um, you look good..." Ryan offered lamely as he studied the smaller man. Jeremy did look good, different but good. He wore a pair of grey sweat pants and a black tank top, his chest hair poking out of the top where his necklace hung where it always had. He was bulkier than Ryan remembered, buffer, his arms notably larger and more muscular. His brown beard was trimmed short, but it was the familiar facial hair Ryan remembered. The biggest change, and the one that shocked Ryan the most, was the lack of hair atop Jeremy's head. Last he'd seen the lad, he'd had a full head of brown hair that had been dyed green on the very top, his very own crown.

 

"I've been working out, had a lot of free time on my hands lately," Jeremy grumbled as he leaned against the door jamb. Ryan nodded in agreement, trying not to let the familiar emotions bubble to the surface.

 

"What do you want Ryan?" Jeremy asked, shaking Ryan from his thoughts. The taller man felt heat rise in his face as he noted he'd been staring at Jeremy for some time now.

 

"I, uh...sorry I didn't mean to...c-could I come in? Please? Just for a minute, I don't want to impose," he stumbled through the request and bit his lip again, hoping against all hope that Jeremy would say yes.

 

Something flashed in the lad's eyes, a look of anger crossed his face so briefly that if Ryan had blinked he'd have missed it, but it was gone and Jeremy was heaving a sigh.

 

"Against my better judgement, yes, you may come in. Only for a minute though," he clarified firmly and Ryan nodded quickly, hope rising in his chest.

 

Jeremy's apartment was much like his old one at the penthouse, a few plants here and there, bookshelves lined with a variety of titles, many of which Ryan recognized. Posters of the lad's favorite bands hung about the walls, along with some video game posters, a small television and Xbox on the entertainment center in the living room. Ryan wasn't sure if the lad had any cats, remembering all the times Jeremy had talked about getting one or a dozen. The lad stood there, hugging his arms across his chest as he shuffled uncomfortably.

 

"Listen, Jer..." Ryan started.

 

"Why are you here, Ryan?" Jeremy asked, looking away. Ryan was hurt but knew he deserved the treatment he was getting.

 

"I-I wanted to apologize. I owe you an explanation," he said quietly.

 

"What's there to explain? Nothing you say can change what you did Haywood!" Jeremy snapped, practically spitting Ryan's last name. Ryan flinched and took a deep breath.

 

"I know," uttered quietly.

 

"Then why the fuck did you show up tonight, seven years after you abandoned us? Huh? Where were you? Why didn't you call, or write? You just thought you could run away from all this and then magically show up one day on my doorstep and expect everything to go back to fucking normal?!" Jeremy was livid, anger splayed across his face.

 

"No. I fucked up Jer..." Ryan started to say.

 

"Understatement of the fucking century!" Jeremy rolled his eyes and threw his arms into the air. Ryan hadn't been sure if the lad knew exactly what had happened that day so long ago, but Jeremy was no fool, he could easily put two and two together.

 

"You're upset, I get that; but please, let me explain," Ryan pleaded. There must've been something in his voice because Jeremy's face softened slightly and he relaxed a little, sighing and nodding at the older man.

 

"Thank you, I won't take long and then I'll leave, you won't have to hear from me ever again if you don't want to," Ryan reassured him, pain stabbing him in the heart at his own words. Jeremy's eyes flickered but he remained neutral. Ryan took a deep breath and began.

 

"What I did was wrong, the worst thing I could've possibly ever done. I thought that I had no choice, but I know now that I should've just kept my mouth shut. They had a file on me, all my personal information, the information I've kept secret for my entire life. They told me they got the information..." he hesitated and steadied his breathing, Jeremy raising an eyebrow. "They told me they got the info from Ray, Jeremy. They disturbed his grave, somehow brought back his spirit, and held him hostage until he spilled all the info on me he had. And in turn, they used Ray as leverage against me, telling me they wouldn't let him be at peace until I...I..."

 

"Betrayed us," Jeremy supplied when Ryan couldn't finish his sentence.

 

"Yeah, that," Ryan shuffled uncomfortably.

 

"That's a new low even for the LSPD," Jeremy said.

 

"Yeah. I always knew they were lowlife pieces of shit, but I never expected them to cross that line," Ryan nodded.

 

"Does this story have an ending?" Jeremy asked after a moment. Ryan frowned but nodded.

 

"Sorry, yes. I know what I did was wrong, and I've spent the last seven years trying to find a way to apologize," Ryan said.

 

"You're a bit late for apologies, pal," Jeremy spat, Ryan flinching and looking up at the word he knew Jeremy only used for people he despised.

 

"Jer..." he started.

 

"No Ryan! It's not going to be that simple. What you did...I can't forgive you," Jeremy yelled, Ryan flinching back.

 

"I want to fix this Jeremy," he said quietly.

 

"Well good for fucking you! Who knew that Vagabond has a heart after all? You're too late Ryan, the others are all in prison, may even be dead for all I know, and you and I are out here, clean records and getting off Scott free while our friends rot for the rest of their lives!" Jeremy shouted.

 

Ryan stood there, feeling the weight of all the guilt he'd carried all this time. Jeremy hated him, which cut him to his core. His Battle Buddy, his best friend who he couldn't imagine life without.

 

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

 

"Shove it up your ass Haywood I don't want or need your apologies. I just want to know why," Jeremy snarled. Ryan looked up and saw that the lad had tears in his eyes.

 

"Jeremy?" he asked.

 

"Why? Why am I out here while the others are sitting in cold cells? Why did you leave me behind? I thought we were buddies, friends. I thought we were family. Do you even know what I’ve been through?" Jeremy was crying now, tears he'd been holding back for so long now streaming down his cheeks.

 

“No, I don’t,” Ryan breathed, hating seeing Jeremy in tears.

 

“They stormed in, just showed up at the penthouse one day. They took down Jack and Michael first, then Geoff. Gavin was running down the hall to get his gun when he was tased, falling to the floor. They dragged me out of my room and cuffed me, shoving me into the patrol car and then locking me in a cell alone for two days. I didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know if the others were still alive, didn’t know where you were or if you’d come rescue me. They let me out telling me to clean up my act and that my record was clean for now. They told me my crew was done for, that if I knew what was good for me I’d jump town like you did. I was so alone Ryan, I couldn’t stay in the penthouse,” Jeremy cried.

 

Ryan's heart broke at the sight and stepped forward to embrace the younger man, but Jeremy pulled away.

 

"Don't you touch me! You gave up the right to touch me when you decided to betray us and leave!" Jeremy spat as he wiped his eyes, sniffling.

 

"I didn't want to leave you here. I wanted to take you with me," Ryan said sadly.

 

"Then why didn't you?!" Jeremy screamed.

 

"Because I was scared!" Ryan roared, allowing a small part of his Vagabond persona to escape into his voice, Jeremy's eyes widening.

 

"W-what?" he asked.

 

"I was afraid. Afraid of what you'd say. I was afraid of having to look into your eyes every day after and see the hate and hurt and betrayal at what I'd done. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing you hurt," Ryan's voice was quivering and he felt tears stinging his eyes. Jeremy remained silent so Ryan continued.

 

"These past seven years all I've felt is guilt and shame. You've no idea how many times I almost ended it, can you believe that? I was at the point where being dead sounded better than living with the knowledge that I'd hurt you and the others," the tears started to fill Ryan's eyes now as he turned away from Jeremy.

 

"I wanted you there with me, god how I wanted you. I wanted to hear your voice, see your smile, make you laugh, hold your hand, hug you, but I couldn't because I knew..." Ryan paused and allowed a tear to fall. "I know that you would hate me for the rest of our lives. That nothing would be the same and that because of my dumbass mistakes, I'd lost you forever, that no matter what I did or what I said, I’d only hurt you more."

 

The room was silent for a moment, a moment that felt like an eternity to Ryan. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling Jeremy's eyes boring into his back. He hated this, hated all of this. But it needed to be done.

 

"I don't expect you to forgive me or even want to be Battle Buddies after all this. I can't take back the past as much as I'd like to," he said, pausing and slowly turning to Jeremy. "I just want you to know that if I could change things, if I could've taken all the bullets in Los Santos for you and the crew, I would do so gladly," he choked out.

 

Jeremy stared at him for a moment before his shoulders slumped, and a deep sigh escaped him. He bit his lip and glanced at Ryan, scratching the back of his head.

 

"I know. I am glad to see you, I'm not really mad just...hurt and confused I guess," he said.

 

"Believe me, I'd rather take my own life than hurt you," Ryan sniffled.

 

"Ryan don't say that, please you're scaring me when you say shit like that."

 

Ryan just nodded weakly and looked at the floor, feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Suddenly there was a familiar warmth on his arm and he glanced up, surprised to see Jeremy's hand there, gently squeezing.

 

"I'm glad you're back buddy," the lad said quietly, Ryan's eyes widening and tears spilling down his cheeks.

 

"I never want to leave you again! It was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made in my life!" he sobbed as Jeremy pulled him in for a hug, the lad rubbing soothing circles into the gent's back as the taller man cried, holding Jeremy close.

 

"Please, forgive me for all my shortcomings! I can't bear to live another moment knowing you hate me," Ryan sobbed. Jeremy pulled away gently, raising Ryan's face so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

 

"I don't hate you Ryan. I thought I did but I was just hurt because I love you," Jeremy said.

 

"Y-you what?" Ryan stuttered.

 

"You're the only family I have, you're my best friend, the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. Sure I'm pissed at you, but that doesn't change the fact that I'll always love you. We're the fucking Battle Buddies!" Jeremy smiled, tears in his own eyes. Ryan gasped and fresh tears rolled down his face.

 

"I love you too Lil J," he said and the two hugged closely, squeezing the other as they cried.

 

Ryan had been gone for so long. But now, he was home.


End file.
